“Intellectual compatibility is when both people are mentally stimulated by the same conversations,” relationship coach and expert, Jenna Ponaman, CPC, tells Bustle. This doesn’t necessarily mean you both need to have the same IQ level. It simply means that you both have the capacity to indulge in deep conversations that become mutually interesting for the two of you.

For example, less intelligent people tend to be more efficient than highly intelligent people, perhaps because they are able to concentrate on a single task for longer. Less intelligent people can also be very hardworking, because they are used to having to work harder in school. I’m guessing that if you’re reading this article then you might be dating someone with a different level of attractiveness to you, and you’re having doubts if the relationship can really work. The study’s psychologists questioned 167 heterosexual couples how long they had known each other and whether they were friends before dating, and a third party evaluated their attractiveness.

If not, don’t be afraid to test the waters on certain topics of conversation that interest you. According to Ponaman, this is important to have because it will shed a light on how compatible you are in other areas of your relationship. In other words, it’s really hard to make a relationship last if you and your partner have nothing to talk about.

If you’ve found a trustworthy partner, this may be more valuable than intelligence in the long run. As I’ve mentioned above, the intelligence of a person cannot be judged easily. In a normal everyday situation, the person who is right is labeled as the smart one. If your partner is used to knowing everything all the time, they can take your being right as a slight to their intelligence. There’s nothing worse than seeing a loved one’s face after you proved them wrong using Google. #5 You want to prove yourself to them for the wrong reasons.

However, there’s one thing I hate is when somebody feels the need to show off how smart they are. I had a girlfriend who liked to explain knowledge, as she said. Really, she came off as condescending as a lot of times she’d be explaining something I already knew.

Dating tip 1: Keep things in perspective

You can, however, change the way that you interact with them and perceive them. Some small changes on your part can make dealing their website with less intelligent people a much easier task. So you’d prefer a women with the same knowledge and interests than you then?

As you may know, compatibility in various aspects of your relationship is super important for couples to last long-term. For instance, having shared values and expectations for the future are two very basic things you and your partner need to see eye-to-eye on. Having great physical chemistry is another and some even make it a point to date people with compatible zodiac signs.

In the study of 105 men, researchers laid out several scenarios. In the first, they told men that “a woman down the hall,” whom they never saw, either outperformed or underperformed them on an intelligence test. Then they were told to imagine this woman as a romantic partner. Unsurprisingly, the guys more frequently desired the woman who outperformed them (#feminists). It’s also awkward because, at least with some of the guys I’ve met, it makesthemuncomfortable to know that I’m able to support a life that may include such unnecessary swank. So, if we’re going to embrace the notion of women being equal to men, you can’t just say it’s all on men to suck it up and not feel emasculated because you’re successful.

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Maybe your partner can’t chat about Noam Chomsky, but they understand when you need to take a break or why you love comic books. “My SO is less intelligent than I am , and it’s actually kind of nice. When I’m talking to my friends who are on the same intellectual level as I am, it can get tiring to be constantly scrutinised and debated with- even if it is just a friendly joust.

Ignore irrelevant signs

According to her, this happens because they may not know how to be engaging with you on an intellectual level, so they’ll rely on their strengths instead. If this is the case, ask them upfront about what they are looking for from the relationship to see if you are on the same page. However, variations in intelligence are much harder to detect than variations in height.

If you want to make people look twice and wonder where you went to school, insert double negatives into your vocabulary whenever you meet someone. My solution was to stamp out my victim mentality and take personal responsibility for everything in my life. I want to briefly share with you how taking responsibility has transformed my own life. One habit of stupid looking people is not taking responsibility for their lives. Top-level executives find this to be submissive behavior and they expect their best and brightest people to be assertive. Women are especially bad for tilting their heads to one side and nodding.

I can only see this mattering if there is a huge difference. It would be hard to live with someone that you can’t have a intelligent conversation with. But I don’t see a relationship getting to that point. The thing is, we don’t give the short guy enough credit. He tries harder, and he’s funnier and nicer than the tall ones who don’t put in the effort.